as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
