We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
