Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
