just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
