dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
