Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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