Whod you bang
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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