toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize