if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
