She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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