I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
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Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
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Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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