He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
