How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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