I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
