oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize