those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
