OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I need water and some morals
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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