Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
