o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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