If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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