so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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