he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
