do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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