JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
