Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
3 2 1 whiskey
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
