btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize