This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
