oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
