In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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