All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
