i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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