We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
