theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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