It's like God shit irony all over that family
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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