no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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