just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
