I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
