just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
