I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
