Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
