grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
