The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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