ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
