you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
