AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
