Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
