what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
