One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
