Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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