just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
