The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize