He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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