Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
