I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
