using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
soo... how was my night?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
