And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
