It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
