i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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