Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
