Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
