Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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